Fluency in one’s native language is essential. No one is immune to making a few grammar or syntax errors from time to time. However, making the remark to a person can sometimes feel very harsh or even rude. Is it okay to correct someone’s grammar?
Grammar matters…
If you do, first ask yourself the following question: are you really trying to help your interlocutor or are you trying – a little basely – to take advantage?
There are a limited number of situations in which it is permissible to correct someone else’s grammar: if you are a teacher, if you are paid to correct the grammar of your interlocutor or proofread their work, or even if you are his parent. In this case, it is acceptable to point out your French mistakes.
… but diplomacy too!
In some cases, the question is more vague. Maybe you’re learning a new language and you’ve asked, or the other person assumes, that you’d appreciate not looking silly and getting reprimanded every time you make a mistake. If you’re a waiter and your boss corrects your grammar because he’s worried about the impression you give, or if you’re the nanny of a child whose parents are worried that your sometimes failing French will tarnish that of their precious child… then the question becomes a bit more subjective.
Some would say that if good grammar isn’t part of the job description, it shouldn’t matter; it could certainly end up looking like an abuse of power, even a form of symbolic violence from someone who would keep correcting you.
But if you correct someone’s grammar in the middle of an argument, even if you’re in one of the aforementioned positions, you’re most likely totally wrong. Of course, he may have meant ‘at least’, rather than ‘at least’. But it’s both a power grab and a way to distract the person from what they’re saying, to put them down instead of listening to the substance of their argument.
Knowing how to ask the right questions
It’s okay to know more than someone but “People who use their advanced knowledge to humiliate others are truly the worst”, said writer Matthew Malady. If correcting someone else’s grammar is routine for you, consider this: are you sincerely trying to help, or are you just trying to get the upper hand? Are you listening to what the other person is saying or are you just looking for an excuse to show them they’re wrong? And, actually, does it matter that she got two words mixed up, or could you just let it go this time? You will then have the answer to your question.
So are you a Language Bully »?
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