All of us experience intense anxiety from time to time. Neither meditation exercises nor yoga will help get rid of this. When we walk into a room and see colleagues silent, we think we’ve been gossiped about. When we receive a new and difficult task, there is a fear that we will not be able to complete the task. Even a simple headache to someone may seem like a harbinger of a brain tumor.
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In this state of obsessive anxiety and worry, there are often people around us who want to help. They usually say a seemingly soothing phrase: “Don’t worry!” The intentions of the helpers are good, but they are trying to suppress unproductive behavior. And the phrase itself can be considered useless. Stressed people feel like they are being brushed aside, or that their problem is made up. Simply telling someone not to worry is not very effective. We can recommend three good alternatives to this banal phrase.
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How can I help you?
Rather than trying to haphazardly console someone, it is better to try to really help a person in trouble. It may well happen that your help does not resolve the situation. But such a proposal will show that you are not only aware of the existence of the problem, but are also ready to lend your shoulder and help get out of trouble. This phrase means that you can rely on. And even if help is not needed, a person is always pleased to know that someone supports him.
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I understand how you feel now
Recall the alarming situation that caused the heart to skip a beat. It could be an email sent to the wrong person, or the loss of a valuable document, being late for an important meeting… Regardless of whether the circumstances were to blame or you yourself, you felt lonely at such a moment.
When we are worried about something, we subconsciously consider ourselves the only one with whom such a difficult situation could happen. But it’s not. Reassuring a friend that he too has been in the same situation and felt the same will add confidence and comfort. It is worth sharing your problems with loved ones and find out how they coped in a similar situation. On someone else’s example, it is easy to see the solution to the problem.
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This is really terrible
Regardless of the strength of our desires, we are unable to help everyone. But you can give a person the opportunity to speak out, to pour out his soul. If you cannot help either by deed or advice, then it remains only to recognize the fact of the situation.
What’s better than just saying, “Don’t worry”? We acknowledge the person’s emotions and let them know that they are justified, rather than brushing them off. Thus, we demonstrate our readiness, if necessary, to accept his feelings and experiences.
If your loved one is obsessed with some unpleasant situation that makes them nervous, it’s too easy to casually remark, “Don’t worry!” But this phrase will neither help nor console. Try one of the suggested alternatives and you can actually reduce a person’s anxiety.
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